Thank you for the overwhelming response. Your answers will make a change.Thank you for your Patience. This is what delhi users have to say about Metro :-
Give the best
To the most
For the least
If you are a resident of NCR and metro is your life line .I have no doubt you might have come across one or more of these personalities of metro (Maybe you are one of them 😛 ).
- The Sleeping Beauties AKA Kumbhkarans The early morning office goer . The moment he grabs a seat, he falls fast asleep, by choice of course. Nothing, mind you, nothing will make him budge. He sleeps peacefully through the entire journey, opening his eyes only when he is kissed by prince Rajiv Chowk. He comes to life and runs downstairs to repeat the same. These characters can be seen in a Metro on any route;Nobody wants to wake up the sleeping giant; if found, show no remorse and give them a rightful nudge!Some call them cute, but it is only until they encounter a half sleepy zombie asking which station is about to arrive.Sleepers and ‘snorers’: Yes, all Indians are my brothers and sisters, and I will treat your shoulder as if you are related to me by blood. These are the ones who will fall asleep sitting in metro, and after a while find their heads on your shoulder.
- The Adjustmentals AKA bob the builders Have you also had someone tell you, ‘thoda adjust karlo please’? Or been cramped up between people trying hard to share the same seat space with you? Then welcome the Adjustmentals. They squeeze in the tiniest of space they see and eventually leave your rear hanging in mid-air. One bum , then teh second , it’s all about baby steps .Getting a seat is a process. Beware of this kind, they will sweet talk you into giving up your seat!
- The Gossip Queens AKA Bitchy Behenji’s They giggle and chatter in high-pitched tones. Riding a metro with them is like listening to an all India radio gossip channel. They’re usually bitching about another girl-friend and enjoying the gossip.
- The Bookworms AKA Padakus The most peaceful and harmless of the lot, not bothered about anything that’s happening around them (not even their own kids!) the bookworms are found deeply engrossed in their books; they can be seen in every corner and compartment of the metro. Leave them alone, as they don’t tend to like people butting in or making any conversations with them.We read. Yes we read. but we are very ‘expressive’ readers. We laugh if we read something hilarious, scaring the person next to us. We blush red, making the other person’s mind run places as if we have read something ‘dirty’. At one point, we also make arrogant faces while reading, because let’s accept it, we are ‘reading’, and that’s what ‘intellectuals’ do, right? –
- The loudspeakers AKA Bhopus We can all hear them loud and clear, in fact the whole metro can hear them loud and clear! These people are noisy and are often seen screeching into their phones, ‘can’t hear you!’. But they don’t get it that we surely can, and so they need to stop .They are fighting with their spouses and they want the world to know they are right. Why, I ask. Why?screaming on top of their lungs. Although, no point telling them to lower their volume, as very often these people think it’s cool to talk like this, rap Honey Singh tunes loudly and proudly want everyone, even strangers, to know what’s happening in their lives!Even if your music is loud on your headphones or you are sitting in the next coach you will still hear two girls talking loudly on a senseless topic with great enthusiasm as if they are discussing world peace.
- The Lovebirds or Besharam Jodas Nothing can get between them , not even air all over the metro. They sometimes are so into each other, they don’t seem to notice how awkward it gets for others around them. If you spot one of these, please be polite and tell them to get a room, not a metro compartment to show their love! To them the co-travellers appear to be blind as they go about declaring their rampaging level of hormones with their unbridled public display of affection. Sharam? Hey! What’s that?
- The creepy observers AKA aankhon ke jadugar They neither need a reason to stare nor an invite. They will do it when they want .Up to Down. Down to Up.What you think, only a man can stare at you? Well, my friend it is your misunderstanding, staring others is a woman’s business too. Their eyes are technologically advanced X-ray machines which analyses your hairband to your cracked ankles to your armpits.
- The sit downers AKA Humse na Ho payega Trus adjustmentals cum Rule breakers. They’ll sit anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Where ever they can find a spot, they’ll plonk their bags and perch themselves there. Mostly tired students or exhausted professionals can be seen sitting down at the end of the day.
- The peeping peeps AKA har ek Phone zaruri hai Some people just can’t control their eyes from wandering. They love to spy on other people’s lives by peeping into their phones and just can’t mind their own business! Sit or stand at a distance from such people as they often turn into creepy stalkers!!
- The Errand Ninjas AKA Gharelus From women knitting sweaters to men clipping their nails,reading newspapers,catching up on work,having business meetings they are taking over the planet! Time is Money people.
- Serial Texter AKA Whatsapp ke Wakil They are the ones who might pretend to be busy when they see an old women standing right beside them because they are too lazy to stand up. Look into their phones and you find them pretending to text.
- The Selfie queens AKA #pyaar ten find dolled up selfie queens obsessing over themselves nonchalant of the hustle and bustle of the metro. The selfie formula is the same everywhere – take your positions, angle yourselves, insert pout and *Click* away from as far as the arm allows, in burst mode! They can’t get enough of themselves and the attention on social media. They are most incredible specie on earth who can manage to click a selfie in a crowded metro. Even though there is hardly any space for you to stand, they still can manage to take perfect posey selfies.
- The Rule Breakers AKA GangstaThe men in the ladies compartment It’s a human tendency, when you’re told not to do something or go somewhere, you always want to do just that and so is the case with these men, who always try their luck to get into the ladies compartment. Mostly creeps and stalkers, ladies feel free to throw these perverts out as you have all the right to!
- The Pushovers AKA Mary Angelous They are going to push you over and run you down so that they can get on that escalator faster. It’s 101 Metro etiquettes no matter what circumstance ,you are always supposed to be in a hurry ,after all Delhi metro is a rapid transit system .Akhir Dhakka Mukki toh banti hai!
- The Awkward Luggage Bearers If the lack of space to stand isn’t frustrating enough, you have those ‘travellers’ who choose to keep their one year worth of luggage right in the centre of the coach.Whenever you see a single person coming in the Metro with around 3-4 bags in your coach, you instantly get to know that people in the coach are about to get screwed. Sometimes it gets surprising how a single person can carry so much of luggage. And then to top it up when these people don’t get a place to sit, they’ll end up arranging their luggage in the centre of the coach in such a way that one can almost visualise them making a fort around themselves. Generally such people enter metro from New Delhi and Chandni Chowk Metro Station.
- The fakers AKA The Angrez We can speak English: “And I was like..”, “and she was like, “, “and we were like..”, “Oh freak….”, “No really, like what?” Well, that’s the English WE know and that’s the English we speak, and when we speak English we are automatically more expressive and loud, because let’s see, isn’t Hindi too mainstream? ‘Like’ Seriously?
- Over friendly ones AKA Chatty Aunties These are typically the first time traveller Indian aunties. They will ask you the way to there destination station, which by the way is their trope to use you for killing their time. They will tell you why they are going to Chandni Chowk, when is their son getting married, how intelligent their son is, and well almost every thing that will make you feel useless about yourself.
- Bouncer Alter-Ego AKA Body guard They will position themselves like bar bouncers right near the doorway and remain there from the time they board the metro, even though they would be deboarding at the train’s destination station which is at least a dozen halts away. Some men just want to watch the whole world burn.
- The shade-y Music Lovers AKA the Dabang Crowd Okay, so you’ve bought new, expensive shades You’re probably the first one in your family to buy them. Don’t flaunt them inside the metro because thankfully, there is no sun or dust flying in there. Keeping them aside for a while won’t harm you because they’re not running away Or you have bought oversized headphones tapping feet, music so loud that probably even the person driving the metro can hear it. They give you music treat for free, even when you don’t want it.
- Pole-dancers AKA “Dil toh bacha hai Ji “ Taking support is different and leaning on the pole is different. Some girls not just wrap their hands but whole body around the pole, leaving absolutely no space for others to hold it for support.All stripper dreams are fulfilled on these poles.The Junglee Kids who hold the pole as if it were a magnet. While the mother keeps calling out to them, they suddenly find a sense of belonging to this pole that doesn’t match the pleasure of sitting on the mother’s lap. They go round and round and round and… until you start feeling nauseated at the number of chakkars that they’ve taken or they fall 😛
- The lost lamb AKA Masum The innocent first timer who makes the biggest mistake of his life by getting into the ladies’ coach. Overwhelmed with all the info , they are always inquiring about everything.
- The College crowd AKA wannabe hipsters They can wear whatever they want, however they want to. You won’t question their style, you will only admire them because they’re on the yellow line. I-pods plugged to their ears, a book in the hand, a set of spiral bound notes, unimaginable colours. Yes, they’re going to north campus.
- The angry-young man/woman AKA Aakrosh They can pick up a fight at the drop of a hat. She screams that he misbehaved. He defends himself saying that he’d misbehave with a younger woman instead of her. An argument ensues, the others in the coach smirk at the free entertainment. A few quiet ones intervene and things are settled.
- The opportunity grabber AKA Khatro ke Khiladi They spot an empty seat and rush to grab it, almost ninja-like. Somebody gets up and they hurriedly move towards it like a raging tornado, only to realise that the other person got up to dust himself/herself. They see space next to the door, they rush towards it bumping into 2 others who were trying to do the same.They don’t care , their tushies needs rest.
- Sneaky Eaters Drinkers AKA Hupshies Who gives a damn to DMRC’s rule of not allowing people to eat/drink inside the metro ? For these people no one does. They can be found having a hearty meal unabashedly or sneaking food from their bags (Yes! We see you) inside the metro and end up messing up their neat-environment with leftovers and foils. Though their number has decreased since the days when metro was a new concept, but these people can still be found in one-off cases esp in ladies compartment .